I Don’t Know How To Start Writing Again But I Want To Start
Lately, I have been telling everyone who cares to listen that, I miss writing. I want to write again. I want to write about many things that only words penned on a blank sheet can portray.
As far back as I can remember, I have always been a writer. From the days of writing on extra pages of school notebooks that were no longer in use at the end of a school session to helping my dad type words scribbled on papers, to his old desktop computer, to finally owning my phone (Nokia 3310) where I would type silly notes for fun. Truth is, I have always found writing as the best way to just spill out the one million and one conversations in my head.
When I finally owned a phone that could access the internet and I could easily open a Facebook account, I was unstoppable. I have Facebook posts on almost anything and they were always long-form type of articles. All I had to do was experience something or think about something and I’d pick up my phone to type it all out till the characters were exceeded. I even opened a Facebook page (with a ridiculous name I am too ashamed to tell) because I needed my own “blog” and there I was again unstoppable with the things I wanted to type.
I loved writing so much that it quickly became a career for me. Maybe this is where it all went downhill. I’ll tell you why later.
Writing was smooth and easy for me so choosing this as a career path was a no-brainer. I started as a journalist for a local newspaper in my hometown while still in the Polytechnic studying mass communication, wrote for a couple of small magazines, got a job as a content writer when I moved to Lagos, became a content lead in less than a year, took on the role of a PR personnel and moved up to become an outstanding community manager for various startups, so on and so forth.
I think I lost my passion for writing when I took it seriously as a career and had to be managed by line managers and bosses. Or maybe I lost the passion because of the things I started writing about for work. I wrote articles for an agricultural company which required lots of research and some technicalities I didn’t quite like but excelled at. I wrote for other companies in tech that also required lots of research to build up an article because everything needed to be for a particular audience and written in specific patterns. I was great at all of these but I never really liked it so my passion started dropping off in bits.
I only felt like myself when I managed online communities for the companies I worked for. I felt at home every time I had to write something for the members of these communities. I felt like myself because I could see and feel the pulse of the people reading my work. But even with this, the passion still faded off with time. My brain attached writing to work only, such that when I sat at a desk to write something interesting I just couldn’t.
At first, I thought it was just a writer's block and it would pass when I moved on from core content writer roles. It didn’t. This writer has been “blocked” for years now and is on a mission to finding her path back.
My writing style is easy and simple and always straight from the heart. When I’m in the zone, I can’t seem to stop because the words flow like a stream with no bumpy rocks underneath. Like right now.
I have been thinking about where and how to start and today, I just thought “Why not write about where and how to start? Why not write about the difficulty in choosing the first words? Why not write about how you do not even know how to start?” So I did. I did and that’s why you are here to read about my difficulty with writing in an article I started and concluded today. Lmao.
I have chosen to take a different approach to writing this time. I don’t want to overthink it. I want to care less about the grammatical composition which in all honesty, stresses me. I worry too much that if “best in writing” people read my work, they would pick one million and one thing that is wrong about it and that is one thing that fueled my overthinking and in turn my ability to write.
I have chosen to just write. About me. About you. About my environment. About the lessons, I have picked up on my 32 years on earth. About love and companionship. About food. About friendship. About family. About literally anything that fascinates my mind and fingers.
Get ready for some deep level of vulnerability when you read my work. I have never not known how to deal with life without public vulnerability (especially in writing) so expect that.
There should be a “grand’ sentence to close up this article but I can’t think of any now because I have to go make spaghetti and Turkey for dinner as it is already 5:46 pm.
Anyways, welcome to the clueless writer finding her way back to her first love — WRITING. I hope you stick around to find out if I am a woman of my word. Lmao. jking jking. Watch me try to keep up at least.
Clap if you enjoyed reading this. Bye
